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Being a Good Guest--Introduction

Monday, 29 December 2008 18:56 McBirdie Articles - Etiquette

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How to be a Good Guest—A Practical Guide

Years back, etiquette was something everyone was concerned about. There were guidebooks and advice columns aplenty and it was easy as anything to get written-in-stone advice about how to behave appropriately. But these days, we’ve become far more lax. In our bid to be more comfortable and worry less about the manners we thought were less important (what IS the point of so many forks, after all?), we’ve made it harder and harder to know how to be as gracious and enjoyable company as we might like to be.

When you add in the factors of far fewer scheduled socializing events (quick quiz—when was the last time YOU threw a dinner party of mixed company or arranged a large group function?) and an increase in social anxieties (which is directly related to the more infrequent scheduled socializing and an increase in socializing informally on the internet), we end up with a hotpot of poor guests and unhappy hosts. And why does it matter? Afterall, if you’ve been invited somewhere, surely it is the host’s job to make sure that everything goes to plan and everyone has a jolly time?

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Being a Good Guest--Being Invited and Your Response

Monday, 29 December 2008 18:51 McBirdie Articles - Etiquette

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Being Invited and Your Response

So you’ve been invited. That’s great—everyone likes a party or other activity. So what do you do now?

1. Respond promptly. Your host needs to know numbers so she can arrange for enough food/drink/tickets/whathaveyou for the event. If no one on her list is going to be able to make it, then she needs to know to pick another date or cancel. Every day you hold up your response, you’re making her planning more difficult. Do you want to wait awhile to see if a better offer comes in? Remember the first principle: You are not special. Just like everyone else needs to decide on an event when they are invited, so too do you. Holding out for a better invite is rude, and trust me, your host will notice every day that goes by with silence.

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Being a Good Guest--Attending the Party/Event

Monday, 29 December 2008 18:47 McBirdie Articles - Etiquette

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Attending the Party/Event

1. Arrive promptly and do not arrive early. There are few things worse than having a guest show up early. What seems like a tiny little extra hour to you seems to the host to be the horror of having people show up before her house is cleaned, her shower is taken, or the food is cooked. Please remember that all the things that you take for granted at a party/event—that the host is welcoming and warm, that there is food aplenty, that things run to schedule—are all being set up behind the scenes by your host. Making her work harder by throwing off her schedule is mean and you will definitely be remembered for all the wrong reasons.

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Being a Good Guest--Staying the Night

Monday, 29 December 2008 18:45 McBirdie Articles - Etiquette

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Staying the Night

1. Unless the ceiling has a hole that exposes you to the elements and the bed is covered in rats, immediately show your appreciation for what you know will be a comfortable night. Are you disappointed that there isn’t a nicer bed for your use, that your room isn’t en suite, or that you don’t have a room to yourself? Next time, book a hotel. In the meantime, you are a guest, not a customer, and your host has likely worked hard to get her accommodation to the best possible condition for you. Thank her for the effort and make sure she knows you’re more than happy with your lot.

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