There is another site wherein I occasionally post advice and answers with a community to questions posted by random people--yes, I sometimes cheat on OkC. Sue me.

I haven't been there for a bit, but I stopped by this evening and saw this question posted:

An age 16-17, anonymous writes:

What's a "spit roast"? All these lasses at school where taking the piss out of a girl at school because she didn't know what it meant and I just laughed along so they didn't know any different. What does it actually mean?

A pretty basic question and it got the usual answers. And it also got this one:

A female reader, in the United Kingdom writes:

Just wanted to say that my boyfriend tried this when he was younger and it wasnt very Successful (pardon the pun).

Apparantly he was with an ex girlfriend whose morals left a lot to be desired, and she wanted his mate to join in. One thing, the boys could not stop laughing at each other whilst trying to do it! And then, because his mate was doing the deed from behind and making the girlfriend moan considerably more than he normally did, it ended in a fight.

The boys are still mates to this day. The Girl (formally known as two's up Sal) is forgotten.

Let this be a lesson to all of us Girlie's, dont do everything that your B/F's suggest.

Now I've got a couple of points about the answer given. To wit:

1. There was no pun there, intended or otherwise. Therefore, trying to be clever with your little 'no pun intended' is irritating.

2. People who pluralize with apostrophes inspire me to straight up violence.

3. Girls who mock other girls for doing things with their boyfriends, whilst not holding equal disdain for the boys who took part, deserve to be forked in the face.

4. Boys who engage in sexual acts and then proceed to mock their former partners, be that with snotty little nicknames, with laughing, or with judgemental stories told to their new girlfriends, deserve to be forked in the face and then to have lemon juice squirted into the puncture holes.

Please note this right now, girls and boys: should you find yourself dating me and you think looking down on some woman in the past for what she did with you, I will dump you with a quickness for the dick you are. And fork you in the face.

If you are some girl friend telling me a 'funny' story about the 'girl with questionable morals' your boyfriend used to date, I will make fun of your dickless boyfriend to your face. And then fork you in your fucking face.

I may also fork you in the face for pluralizing with an apostrophe, because...come on. That's just so stupid.