I read a couple of posts over on Lemondrop on Thursday or Friday and they've been bugging me ever since, but I'm still struggling to put my finger on just what it is exactly that I found so unsettling.

The original blog, by Courtney A., is called I Slept With Tucker Max, the Internet's Biggest Asshat.  The same event from Tucker Max's point of view can be found over on his site, in an article entitled Premier #12: State College.  You'll have to scroll down to get to the girl, though, as it wasn't the highlight of the post.

Now, I should add here that I had never really read anything on Tucker Max before.  I dimly recall having seen an ad or a reference to his book, "I Hope They Serve Beer in Heaven", but to be honest, I think I vaguely thought it was some sort of country album and didn't pay attention.  If you're equally clueless, apparently he made a name for himself writing a blog that focused on his previous and present sexual conquests, which led to his book deal, and I guess has led to something in movies.  Whatever, he's just a douche bag made good as near as I can tell.

The short version of the story they blogged about is this:  He went to State College (holla, Nittany Lions!) to do some promo work, a friend of hers told her what bar he would be at afterwards, she went there to hook up with him--they had bad sex a couple of times and then both went home and put the details on the internet.  She's hailed as a hero and he...well.  Keeps on keeping on, I guess.

I'm totally down with women seeking out sexual partners.  I'm down with them being more casual about sex--I don't tend to be, but that doesn't mean I can't see the good in it.  I'm even marginally able to accept that I am living in a time when it's no big deal to talk about very intimate details about your sex life online, though I still wince that naming people is becoming more okay.

But.  But there's something here that really unsettles me.

Part of it is just the fact that this guy clearly thinks nearly nothing about women, makes no attempt to hide his loathing, and still manages to have his pick of women throwing themselves at him.  He called this girl a whore and she still slept with him.  I tried to imagine a scenario wherein I would sleep with a guy after he spoke to me that way and I couldn't come up with anything after I visualised putting the fork into his eye.

Part of it is that the sex is handled like a business transaction, which is weird because I have no problem with prostitution.  I think the problem for me is that while I understand having sex to earn money, doing it to garner .73 seconds of internet notoriety seems a bit...gross.

A big part of it is that it seems so darned joyless.  No one really enjoys this sex.  It's not even a turn-on for the readers.  What's the point?  I don't think sex always has to be a romantic, special thing (though I also don't understand why people treat it as something that doesn't ever need to be special), but it should at least be fun, shouldn't it?  What fun is there to be had in sleeping with a guy who doesn't respect you, spends no time on foreplay, and doesn't even notice that you fake it to end it sooner?

But I think a part of my unease is also in the comments that followed her blog.  People seriously called her a hero.  Several times.  The one or two who expressed dismay at how the evening went were shouted down for being jealous and prudish.  I don't understand what she did that was at all cheer-worthy.  She had sex with a not-at-all nice guy who didn't like her at all that was sexually unsatisfying for her and nothing more than a blip on his radar and got cab fare.  Do we love fame so much now that we even count bad sex with a blogger to be impressive?

I must accept that I'm getting old when I admit that that doesn't make sense to me on any level.