I commented a couple of days ago on a post about a fluff piece of research on how the way a woman walks can indicate how she orgasms or some such. Nonsense research, pretty much, but I found the comments interesting. Included in that was the stance of a few women that vaginal orgams don't exist (as every type of orgasm is truly a 'clitoral orgasm') and blah blah blah men just want to believe that it is only their penis that can give women truly satisfying orgasms.

I commented that they must exist since I have them and I know other women who do. Simple enough, no? I further stated that it was an interesting point of discussion that the research suggested that women who orgasmed vaginally with their partners reported being more satisfied by their relationships and closer emotionally to their partners. Not that it is Scientific Truth or anything, but just that it makes sense to me on a theoretical level.

I was greeted with this:

Yes, yes, McB, you are the best, your orgasms are the most wonderful, la la la. W/e.

It's been a long time since I've been la-la-ed, peeps. Apparently, I deserve it because

I have undone years of feminism with my traitorous ability to orgasm WITH A PENIS.

That comment was followed by some InternetCrazy making a snide comment about how he loves when I talk about orgasms because I always imply that sex with me is some sort of wonderland.

A couple of points: first, sex with me is a fucking wonderland. It just is. Second, I never implyed that and only crazy people think that someone talking about their own experiences mean they are looking down on yours.

Look. I'm pretty darn sex positive. That's not just talk, peeps, that's my job. I think women everywhere should be having the best possible sex they can have, whether that be on their own or with a partner (or with several partners--go crazy, you naughty peeps). I do not think, however, that we need to limit ourselves sexually based on what has been possible for us before, what we doubt can be possible for us, or what we think shouldn't be possible because we are all "Fuck the penis (metaphorically), we're feminists". That doesn't make me some sort of sexual gymnast bending over backwards (metaphorically!) for men. That makes me a real feminist.

I'm not gloating when I say I can have orgams through penetrative sex. I am not rubbing your noses in some sort of perceived sexual superiority. Sex Is Not A Competition (metaphorically--sometimes it literally is, but only when you agree on that with your partner beforehand--woo!). I have no idea why women would want to busy themselves grinding their teeth at me when they could instead be doing three things:

1. Build up your pelvic floor muscles (try the Isis from the Berman Institute).

2. Take your time and find your g-spot. Tell everyone that matters where it is.

3. Find a good partner. Or a well-shaped g-spot vibe.

And additionally, if you don't mind:

4. Don't frickin' la-la me. It's really annoying.