Dear Birdie,

 Please help I feel so ashamed!  Well I have been masturbating since I was 8 years old.  But I have noticed some “saggy skin” all around the “button” between the vagina lips and the saggy skin is black!  And it looks HORRIBLE. 

  I am really scared boyfriends will be disgusted with this. Is there anyway I can get rid of this?  How has it happened?  

 I really don’t want to tell anyone about this unless it is serious. Thanks for reading xxxx

Afraid I Look Gross

Dear Afraid,

 There is good news all around–you are perfectly normal, you haven’t damaged yourself with masturbating, and no one will ever judge you as harshly as you currently are.  

 When we go through puberty, the appearance of our genitals change.  This includes the colour, size, and shape.  So what used to be neatly tucked up and pink, is suddenly saggy and much darker.  It is completely and utterly normal. It is hard to know that every other girl is going through the same thing because we don’t tend to look at each other that closely (it’s not as though we are on display like the boys are!) but trust me…we all look slightly funny down below.  There is really nothing you can do to change your appearance (please don’t even think about cosmetic surgery–your bits deserve better than that), but that’s alright because the only thing you really need to do is accept yourself.

As to boys, I can promise you that not one will be anything but incredibly excited and impressed when you take your clothes off for them.  They won’t see any flaws–they’ll just see a young woman who has been embracing her sexuality and is confident in how she looks.  And there is really nothing more attractive to a guy.

Best of luck,

P.S.  If you ever notice a change in the appearance of your genitals and it is accompanied by itching, soreness, or a strange discharge, go to your doctor and have a checkup.  If you want to know a bit more about what is normal, you might want to check out this page.